woostering: (picasso)
So, imagine you were me yesterday and had a horrid headache. It was the kind you wake up with, starts to go away, and comes back around dinnertime with a vengeance. However, after taking some tylenol (seeing as the aspirin earlier didn't do much good) and drinking about three glasses of water and my dad had done this wonderful massage-y thing to my scalp I was sitting at the kitchen table waiting for the headache to go away. I could tell it was. I was sitting clamly, focusing on my breathing because anything else would make it owrse and not better. And, since this process is kind of like meditation, my mind decided to narrate what it was noticing. I found the results somewhat fascinating.

I noticed that my glass of water, my glasses, and the tylenol bottle were all in this nice diagonal line. It's what artists refer to as an alignment, and that's what I called it because I had taken drawing first semester and learned all about them. The line from these three things then met up with one of the candleholders in the advent wreath. I couldn't tell whether or not it lined up with the corner of a stack of paper, because my glasses were off and I wasn't up to really trying to draw lines just yet. My head still hurt a bit.

I followed the alignment back and forth a while, appreciated how my glasses made a nice square shape because the part that goes over the  ears wasn't folded in. The diagonal line cut through the square not perfectly centered, but basically from the left lense to the right tip on the other side. Then I focused on the stack of paper which may or may not line up with this, and it bothered me because I'm an artistic person and my head hurt. It didn't really look like it lined up from where I was sitting, with my head in my hands, but I wasn't aout to move. Then I looked more closely (rather, as closely as I could at the moment) at the papers. They weren't stacked straight and one of the corners was bent, so I figured depending on where you were one of those corners would line up with something else on the table. I didn't try to imagine it, but I theorized that if I moved, maybe stood up and looked over the table, the corner that was bothering me might line up.

And then, because this kind of lucid thinking always comes with a revelation, I had a revelation. Alignments in real life are completely arbitrary. (No duh, you say. They're imaginary lines in the first place. Remeber I had a nasty headache at the time, okay?) An alignment could cease to exist in real life if I moved and look at the room from a different perspective. Movement removes alignments and reveals new ones. Alignments only really exist in pictures, because you can't change perspective in a picture. Sure, you could imagine quite clearly how things might look, but it'd be a completely different picture, and the alignments that held it together before would be gone.

By this point my headache was clearing and my need for semi-meditative breathing was much less, which meant that my train of thought was going to switch back to normal soon. For some reason I made a brief detour and thought a bit about the shape of out vision. I believe it's an oval. I've actually wondered about it before, because we see things within that oval of our vision but we so often put boxes around things that, by necessity, cut off part of that oval. I'm sure there's something art and psychology can or have pulled out of that.

Anyway, my final tohugh on alignments was that I much prefer and notice diagonal alignments, like the edge of the christmas tree on our fridge. Horizontal and vertical lines, and even things that are diagonal because of perspective that would be straight if you looked at them head-on don't interest me as much. I use them, and I suppose I like things that have them, but I'm drawn to lines that inherently aren't straight.

Then my headache was gone, and this bit of madness ended. I should finish cleaning my room. I should eat dinner soon too.
woostering: (snoopy)

College, I suspect, eats up time and space.

It's been, what, two months, two and a half, since I left Chicago for the little town Galesburg and Knox College.  It feels like no time at all. It feels like forever. Coming home was at once exciting and strange.  I was one of the very last people in my suite to leave, so I basically had a whole day to myself.  It was that day that made me think (when I didn't have a headache, but that isn't important).

I have always been very fortunate in respect to making friends.  In fact, I don't really make them.  I find them.  Or maybe they find me, I haven't quite figured out how to describe it.  But I have never had trouble falling in with a good group of people who, for some reason or other, manage to look past my usual silence and think I'm not half bad.  I couldn't even tell you how the group of friends I refer to as my suitemates for simplicity's sake (we do all live in the same building, and even on the same floor except for one) got together. It was too long ago and it happened very fast.  We came to college, and we became friends, and that was that.  About two thirds of the way through the term we realized that though we considered ourselves good friends we really didn't know all that much about one another, and we wondered what would happen over breaks.  Some were worried our friendships might not hold.  I admitted it was a possibility, but I never really entertained the idea.  Call it optimism or instinct, I felt and feel that we were and will continue to be good friends, despite that fact that, admitedly, we really don't know each other very well.

That's not at all where I intended that to go but whatever.  They're important.  And I like my suitemates.  I suppose the only other solid group of friends I have is the fencing team, who are also wonderful as I've said before. then there are people in my classes who are kind of my friends, but I don't talk to them enough outside of class to put them firmly in the 'Friend' category.  I hope that will change, because they're pretty cool too.  Anyway.  I think what I was getting to was that college is going well, and I'm doing well, and I'm not sure what to make of the fact that I'm getting into adult-y things.

Well. I'm home now. And until January.  Having trimesters is pretty sweet.  I've already had one get-together with some old friends, and one crazy midnight-on-Black-Friday-morning raid on Walmart with another friend. We didn't even buy anything. We just went because, well, why not? It was fun and very very cold and we got to bother the people camped outside Best Buy. I've spent the --dear god, nearly a week now-- well, most of the time enjoying a not slow youtube and adding lots of music to my laptop. You only realize how much music you don't have until you can't get to it.

That's enough for now, I think. I have to change my moodtheme. I'm making some changes to a Holmes one but I was getting frustrated with photobucket so I haven't gotten back to it yet XD.


...and I have to take figure out what I'm doing for christmas presents. And what I'm saying for my gold award when I get it sunday. aaaahhh Why is there stuff to do?



Oct. 29th, 2010 11:09 pm
woostering: (kiku)

I really do have the best of luck. Really. /sarcasm

So. In an attempt to branch out, and maybe be not completely out of shape, I decided to try something: fencing. Now, admitedly, I had two reasons to join fencing. One is that you get to stab people, which is always awesome, the second is that people I know who do it really like it (okay, so it is a the guy I like... but why should I let that stop me from doing cool things? Shush). This turned out to be a good thing because I actually really like it. I'm doing something that requires physical exertion wihch for me is pretty good for a change, and the other people on the team are awesome and for the most part nerdy as well. I have so much fun, and it actually makes me sad if I can't make a practice.

However, it also turned out to be a bad thing, because at practice four weeks ago, well... no one knows how, but I managed to dislocate my kneecap. Wtf. I mean, I have some idea of what happened. I was lunging, my ankle rolled and my upper leg was going straight down while my lower leg (this is my back leg, btw) was going sideways. I think to correct this my quad muscle spasmed (which is what the trainer said is often what causes the kneecap to be dislocted). What really confuses me is that I managed to fall on my right side (so the other side) facing the other direction. Which means mid-fall I managed to twist my body around completely. Anyway. I managed to probably scare and impress everyone, partly because despite the initial pain I wasn't crying (just swearing a ton, apparently. Mostly saying fuck). But thankfully we practice IN the athlectic building, so the trainer was right there. We got my leg straightened out and I limped home. I must say, everyone on the team was really nice to me and put up with my semi-delerious rambling and were practically jumping to help me stand up and hold my hand and stuff. This solidified my instinct that these people are made of awesome.

Now, I looked up some things about dislocated kneecaps. It is most common in teenagers (check), women (check), and people who are out of shape/overweight (also check), and you can also be genetically predisposed to it (again, check, thanks mom). So I shouldn't be surprised, really. Recovery is, on average, 6-8 weeks. It's not the sort of injury that can just get better. It takes a lot of time. The most annoying thing is stairs, because I have to take them one at a time, which is really slow and makes me feel obnoxious. I'm SO ready to walk up stairs normally and be able to run. Never have I thought I might say that. But you bend your knee doing and awful lot of things, and while you can certainly manage without, there's a lot you have to remember you CAN'T do. I'm almost at the point of being able to do stairs. My knee isn't quite strong enough yet. Ugh.

Despite this, I'm still going to fencing. I'm not actually fencing, of course (that right now is impossible, not to mention stupid), but I'm watching and learning and sometimes they make me judge. Judging is HARD. It requires as much if not more concentration as actually bouting. I just can't stop going, though. They're so fun :D And as one said, this freak injury will might make me the best judge EVER. Plus, now people can just call me Gimpy instead of Rebecca.

In other news, I went on a trip to the Art Institute in sweet home Chicago Tuesday. It was lots of fun even though I had to get up at seven in the morning and we got back around 11 at night. I think I may have actually walked through the entire second floor (which is where most of the famous paintings are).
In other other news, I made a pretty backgroud for Halloween for my laptop with Jeremy Brett when he played Dracula. I like real vampires.

Oh, college XD
woostering: (Warehouse 13: Evil Disco Ball)

Well. Well well well. College. Uni, to those in the British Isles. I like Knox so far. Granted, I've only had a full week of classes. I haven't even had a proper paper to write yet. But I like it here.

Move-in was September 4th. Moved in (obviously), met my roommate and suite mates and floor mates. See, only one building at Knox has traditional dorm-style dorms, and that's all guys anyway. Pretty much everything else (except the houses and the few apartments) are suite-style. So we have five doubles and one single room, and a common room. We get to the other suite by going through a door in the bathroom (yeah I know. bit weird. but it works). But things are working our really well in terms of housing and living. Food is decent. The cereal and dessert stuff, however, is AWESOME.

Anyway, us freshman had a week of orientation, ending in Pumphandle on Friday when most of the upperclassmen had moved in as well. Basically you shake hands with everybody. Everybody. All the teachers and faculty people, and all the students who can make it. Orientation was for the most part pretty fun. 

It feels like I've been here a lot longer. But I'm managing to make friends. I should know by now that I really don't need to worry about friends because I always seem to miraculously fall into a good group.

We already have a wall of quotes stuck onto a wall of the common room. And now, I shall tell a story about how college is indeed college, and people in college are, well... as crazy as tehy say. There was a blacklight party going on in one of the buildings. We (my group of friends, being my room, the room across from ours, and some people from through the bathroom) were just sort of sitting in our common room, finishing a game of Apples to Apples. Suddenly, we hear lots of noise, and three guys (one shirtless XD ) charge through our bathroom and wander around shouting. They say hello and generally act crazy. One finished the cold tea in my mug. They started reading all the quotes on our wall, very loudly, some more than once. One of guys scribbled herpes on a bunch of them. So basically they were getting up to some shennanigins and causing us to laugh as loud as they were yelling, and telling us to have a good time (oh, and that we should remind the other suite to lock their door), when two guys from campus security came in because some people had called about them. So they left and we headed to see the blacklight party.

College is some crazy shit, man. But I love it. Now for academics (no, I'm not about to tell every detail of my social life. No one wants to  hear it and I don't tell it well anyway). I'm taking drawing and German this semester, as well as FP (freshman preceptorial), which is required. FP is basically a critical thinking/discussion/writing course. We have to read a lot, current in my class Dignity of Difference by Sacks. I don't like it. It's very dry, and not in they dry humor sense but dry in the redundant and boring sense. But hopefully we won't be reading it for too long. German is fun, though currently a bit daunting as it's an immersion class. But I'm getting the hang of it. And draing is very fun. We're workign with charcoal, a new experience for me and one I'm finding to my liking, once I accept that things are big and bold with it, opposite my usual pencil mode. The only drawback is I leave that two-period class feeling like a chimney sweep. I'm covered in black XD

So. College. Fun. I hope people all over are enjoying life right now. Because you know what? Life is awesome sometimes.
Laugh the night away.
woostering: (Hatter O_O)

So. My emotions have been running rather haywire lately. A few days ago I went to a friend's house, to FINALLY drop off some thin mints he'd ordered MONTHS ago. Well, anyway. I finally got the nerve to say, 'hey, I have cookies for you. When can I drop them off. Sometime this week, preferably.' And it did require getting up some nerve, because I've liked the poor guy for, oh, nearly two years now. Being me, the withdrawn, socially awkward self, I never knew how to approach this and never said a word. After all, he's one of those insanely awesome people who everybody loves, and we were kinda friends, so I wasn't about to point out I liked him. And, when I realized I did, he had a girlfriend.

Anyway, now we cut to this summer. I had spent many nights of my senior year thinking about him and sorting out my feelings and berating myself for not knowing what to do. Or something like that. But thinking. My friend Hayley was here for a while. At the beginning of summer I had gone to Yellowstone. I found my glass pen and wanted to figure out how to use it. I got the brilliant idea to write a letter. Because, you see, after all this thinking I realized (rather early on, actually) that I valued his friendship immensely, and I wanted that as much as anything else. But, seeing as college was fast approaching, I figured I could tell him I liked him. I had hardly talked to him over senior year, as he's a year older than me and he was busy with college (pre-med, dontcha know. /bragging). I thought, I'd give him the cookies, leave some letter in there and then I could leave that behind and look to college. If he wanted to talk to me he could. If he wanted to ignore me he could do that too, because, hello, college. If that's not a distraction then I don't know what is.

After some more thinking (i'm cutting out all the thinking. I can't remember what i though when anyway), I wrote out the letter. Damn thing was a full two pages long. I told him I liked him, but also that I really wanted to be friends. After all, with college, being anything more than friends is tempting fate and kind of silly. Okay, I didn't SAY that, but it was hopefully implied. But... I'm beginning to think I may not have implied it well enough. I'm freaking out right now that I completely screwed this up.

I was just going to drop off the cookies, fairly quick, nothing special. I was there for, like, an hour. We had tea. Good tea. I found out figured out how interested he is in astrology. His mom came in at some point and we all talked for a while, all nice and perfect. Once I relaxed a bit, I realized I was possibly the most comfortable there in a house I'd never been in before I'd ever been around other people. I wasn't worried about saying something stupid like I normally am around him. No, I wasn't providing scintillating conversation, but I was talking. And I left that damned letter.

I've realized that I don't care how much I like him. I don't care whether or not he likes me. I want to be friends with him. I could care less whether he likes me as more than a friend. We think in similar ways. What more could I ask for? I then realized that maybe I just wanted someone who I knew would understand me, someone I could call up and just talk to for a bit. And I think I might have scared him off. Or something. I don't know. I haven't talked to him since. But he gave me a hug when I got there, and he gave me one as I left, and it was the most comforting thing in the world. I just want a hug, dammit XD. Oh. I just want to be able to keep getting hugs from him, y'know? Alright, I shouldn't say 'y'know', but... Ah. Nevermind.

I fear I might have been a bit... not forceful, but overdramatic in that stupid letter. Not calm and, oh-by-the-way-I-like-you-can't-help-it-you're-fucking-amazing, but more -oh-I'm-pining-for-you-and-will-always-be. She-ite. And I thought about taking the letter out, too. But I thought to myself, no, I'm gonna leave it in. I bothered to write it out, and all fancy, and dammit I'm gonna tell him. I won't have to see him again. I'll be fine.

Oh, no, I'm not fine, Rebecca you genius. You fool. You think too much and worry too much and YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF HE READ IT WHY ARE YOU FREAKING OUT. Ahahahaha god. I have no social skills. I am HOPELESS LOL. I'm swearing an awful lot in my head. I may have ruined a perfect friendship. I may have done nothing. I just may have screwed up a really awesome friendship because I selfishly needed to expose feelings no longer relevant. I NEED T GET A GRIP, yeah? Yeah.

Oh, college in... three days? Leaving friday because move-in is saturday and Galesburg is too far to drive to that morning. I have until we leave friday evening to finish my gold project. Gorram. Or something. Trolling Tumblr for Jeremy Brett instead of sleeping. Because I feel alright then. I cannot express how much I'm in love with this man. Well, how much I love looking at him and listening to him and watching what he's done, because he's done it beautifully.

AHAHA and what happens after i post this? He asks for my college adress so he can write back :D Oh, why do I worry about these things? Silly Rebecca is silly.


Aug. 31st, 2010 10:30 pm
woostering: (O RLY)
So this looked interesting. Took it. You should take it too. http://www.colorquiz.com/index.php . Accurate, dontcha know.

Your Existing Situation

Works well with others. Needs personal relationships which are understanding and relatively conflict-free.

Your Stress Sources

"Not a team player and is unwilling to be involved in most activities. In the past she was over involved and now emotionally drained. Due to her fear of over involvement, she now chooses to remain uninvolved with the activities around her. "

Your Restrained Characteristics

Applies tough standards to her potential partner and demands an unrealistic perfection in her sex life.
"Feels she is not receiving her fair share and is unable to rely on anyone for support or sympathy. she keeps her emotions bottled up, leaving her quick to take offense to small things. she tries to make the best of her situation."
Applies tough standards to her potential partner and demands an unrealistic perfection in her sex life.

Your Desired Objective

"Looking for affectionate, fulfilling, and friendly relationships. Seeks intimacy and personal relationships full of love, self-sacrifice and trust."

Your Actual Problem

Needs to find a stable and peaceful environment which will free her of the worries that are preventing her from achieving the things she wants.

Edit Sept. 1st: lol just took it again lookie here

Your Existing Situation

"Craves change and new things, always looking for new adventures and activities. Becomes restless and frustrated when she has to wait to long for things to develop. her impatience leads to irritability and a desire to move on to the next project."

Your Stress Sources

"Feels empty and isolated from others and wishes to overcome this feeling. Believes life has more to offer her than what she was experienced thus far, and doesn't want to miss out on anything. she purses all her goals and dreams, fearful that any missed opportunity will cause her to miss out on even more. Quickly becomes an expert in any field she pursues and can sometimes come off as overbearing and nosy."

Your Restrained Characteristics


Current events leave her feeling forced into compromise in order to avoid being cut off from affection or future cooperation.

Feels unhappy and isolated because she is unable to succeed in finding the cooperation and understanding she desires.

"Seeking to broaden her horizons and believes her hopes and dreams are realistic. Worries she may not be able to do the things she wants and needs to escape to a peaceful, quiet environment in order to restore her confidence."

Conceited and is easily insulted. Holds back emotionally but is able to find satisfaction through sexual activity.


Your Desired Objective

Is extremely determined to make her presence known as an important part of any team. she is flexible and able to do what is necessary to stand out from the crowd. Is willing to overcome any conflicts and difficulties that may stand in her way.

Your Actual Problem

Afraid she will not be able to achieve the things she wants and demands others recognize and acknowledge this right to them.

Your Actual Problem #2

"Is resistant of outside pressures and control, or anything that stands in the way of her freedom to make her own decisions and plans. Works hard to establish and build her position and status."

woostering: (Default)

Y'know, sometimes I wonder how I can have such a highly developed sense of logic and such deep running emotions at the same time. Usualy they work well together, but every so often there's a glitch and the two try to fix all the problems of the other. This is a short perambulation (note to self: stop reading so much Holmes, vocabulary being affected) through what I realized last night, though by no means all of it. But I tried to capture as closely as I could this part of my nightly musings.



It's that feeling you get  at night when you're trying to fall asleep and your brain won't--no, no, it's your heart--your heart won't shut off and you just lie there in bed and feel so... alone. Just one little mind in one empty room. And you want to reach out, to feel the presence of another human being, and the solidity of it, but you can't, because no one's there, and it's just you, lying alone.


It's that you want to stop being made of steel and glass and granite, stop holding yourself in, let your awarness fizzle out and feel other people. And it's not that you think you don't have friends; you know they'd be there if you really needed them. You don't doubt that. But you don't really need them then. You just want them, to fill the empty space of an over-active heart. You want to be with someone who understands this feeling, who gets in this moment you just need to feel, in a way beyond words. That other things are solid so you don't have to be so much. And that's what it is, to just sit next to someone who understands, for them to be there by you so you can feel.


It's not like this all the time. Only every so often, to balance out the nights of deep contemplation, the nights the brain is what won't turn off. These nights aren't even as bad, because it's not a sadness, just a deep, ingrained yearning. The nights of thinking are worse, because that's when I try to make sense of that shining inner light from the nights of the heart and try to fit it into the steel and the rock, and I call myself weak because I cannot. I have plenty of words for those nights, and harsh ones at that. But these nights can't be put down so well, for the heart does not deal in words.

woostering: (Default)

If you hate stereotypes, reblog this, and BOLD all the things that you are.


I’m SKINNY, so i MUST be anorexic.

I’m EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I’m BLOND, so I MUST be a ditz. 

I’m JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I’m GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I’m ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I’m RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. 

I don’t have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I’m a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I’m IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I’m INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I’m NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I’m a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore…

I’m RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I’m “GOOD LOOKIN”, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I have STRAIGHT A’S, so I MUST not have a social life. 

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I’m a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I’m COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I’m GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be gay too.

I’m a VIRGIN so i MUST be prude.

I play VIDEO GAMES, so I MUST be a nerd.

I’m BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I’m BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I’m a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I’m SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I’m CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I’m MIXED so I must be fucked up.

I’m MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I’m in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.


I’m GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.

I’m ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I’m YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life

I wear what I WANT, so I MUST be a poser

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m EMOTIONAL, so I MUST be depressed

I’m a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious.

I’m POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher’s pet.

I SMILE a lot, so I MUST be preppy.

I’m AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries.

I’m a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports.

I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd.

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don’t.

I’m a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue

I care about the ENVIRONMENT…I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I am A DREAMER, so I MUST be unrealistic.

I HAVE MANY DIFFERENT INTERESTS, so I MUST be unable to commit to one thing.


woostering: (Marian)

That Jeremy Brett is so attractive as well as being made of win.

I was born in the wrong generation, clearly. Or he was... but no, that's being presumptuous. I was.
Putting this up for neck pr0ns, and guitar pr0ns.
And dammit.


Well... at least I have a role model of what to look for, I suppose.

... I have never been so tempted to drool in my life. Oh, god XD

woostering: (phoenix)
It occurs to me that I haven't posted anything for a while. It also occurs to me that I don't really do anything with my lj (other than stalk people, I mean) and that I don't really know why I feel the need to keep up a journal. Meh.

I'm getting ready to go to college. Buying decent clothes and things like an electric kettle so i can have TEA. Yup. Oh, and a laptop. But I've had it a while now. I'm mostly intrigued by college and the whole new experience stuff that goes with it. The rest of my feelings about it involved trepidation and nervousness, as I am shy and worry about how well I'll open up to people, and wondering what my roommate will be like. As I'm an only child, living permanently with another person will be new. I'm told I get along with other people well, and I must admit in highschool I fell into a group of friends fairly fast despite my utter lack of social skills.

My summer has been rather... haphazard? First there was the trip with my scout troop to Yellowstone, and then there was a period of quiet, and then my best friend Hayley came in from Nevada. She stayed with us for about a week, and she hopes to be back in what will be only a few days now. Of course, the first night she stayed at my house we got a horrid storm and the basement flooded (only a little, but a box of plaster ceramic molds got wet and they spent three days on the kitchen table drying). But I hope she can spend some more time here, because I love her to death. And, like I said, in this interim I've been slowly aquireing stuff for college. I have seen some people, actually, over the summer, which is not as common an occurence as it should be.

I have also completely screwed my sleeping schedule, which involves me staying up well into the morning. Urgh. I really don't need to be up so late/early. I mean, it's already 12:30. Damn you, internet, for existing. A side effect of this is that I have been thinking a lot (and burning my brain instead of catching up on reading all the books I want to read before school. I have until Labor Day weekend). Yet... right now I don't really know if anything I have to say is really worth putting down here. A second possible side effect is the fact that I've been having some really strange dreams. Like messed-up weird kind of strange. Unfortunately I've had so many I don't really remember any. But suffice it to say they were... I don't even know.

Heading up to the Ren Faire again sunday. Was shopping for aforementioned college stuff, stopped at Borders and, among other things, picked up the movie soundtrack for My Fair Lady. Which I love, even though Jeremy Brett's voice was dubbed. Anyway. I love the songs, no matter who sang them. Have been possibly and then not really been falling into further Holmes and Watson depravity, as well as having rediscovered King of Shadows Queen of Light, a fanfic for Neverwinter Nights 2. I do love that particular one, though that's really the only fanfic for that game I read. Re-finding the story also propmted me to play the game again, starting from scratch (again. Really, I need to cure my addiction of restarting games before I finish). Lesse. Alright, I've done some things. Went to seem the variety show for the RESCU foundation, which basically provides help to people like those who work at the Ren Faire and, being basically self-employed, have no insurance. The show was wonderful and hilarious and Hayley and I FREAKING LOVED IT. that is all. Fun times.

You know what? I need something to talk about. Other than my uninteresting life. Cheers.

No, here, have some love.
woostering: (Stand on your head)
Cerebral Personality Test Results
74% Cerebral
Scoring highly suggests you are likely to be very inquisitive, exploring, scientific, contemplative, self-examining, and philosophical. Low scorers, will generally tend towards the opposite of the above. They will tend to be more conventional, less curious and analytical, less focused on the big picture / global variables, and more comfortable identifying as part of maintream culture.
Take Free Cerebral Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Career Inventory Test Results

Extroversion |||||| 13%
Emotional Stability |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Orderliness |||||||||||| 33%
Altruism ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Inquisitiveness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 76%

You are an Idealist, possible professions include - information-graphics designer, college professor, researcher, legal mediator, social worker, holistic health practitioner, occupational therapist, diversity manager, human resource development specialist, employment development specialist, minister/priest/rabbi, missionary, psychologist, writer
Take Free Career Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results
Warmth ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Intellect |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Emotional Stability |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Aggressiveness ||||||||| 22%
Liveliness |||||||||||| 34%
Dutifulness ||||||||||||||| 46%
Social Assertiveness ||||||||| 22%
Sensitivity ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Paranoia |||||||||||| 34%
Abstractness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Introversion |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Anxiety ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Openmindedness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Independence |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Perfectionism ||||||||||||||| 50%
Tension ||||||||| 22%
Take Cattell 16 Factor Test (similar to 16pf)
personality tests by similarminds.com
woostering: (Default)
1. Got a laptop. The screen is FREAKING HUGE. But... I think I can dig it. As I told my dad, now I have no excuse to not do art at college because I've got a gorgeous screen to do it on.
2. Still working on my gold award. Slowly but surely it is getting done, and while I'm not thrilled and the effort I'm putting into the art isn't the best, I don't hate it anymore. It's given me lots of time to listen to music, and I've discovered most of the new-ish music that I like is from british bands. Is that really a surprise? Nope.
3. Jeremy Brett. Oh, god, Jeremy Brett. I think I love you. My mission is to get as much of the Granada series of Sherlock Holmes before I go to college.
4. Speaking of which, I can now say that I've read the entire Holmes cannon. Now if only I could get hard copies of the books, and with the illutratinos, and not just on my kindle...
5. My girl scout troop took a really awesome trip out to Yellowstone National Park. It was fun, and, like all adventures, did have some misshaps along the way, but that of course is what makes these things memorable. It rained every day we were camping except the last one. Still, things worked out rather well. Yellowstone is a gorgeous and fascinating place. We also drove through a cloud and hiked a good three or so miles of trail-- at 10,000 ft, that is. It was the trail up to Medicine Wheel, an old Indian circle of stones on the very top of a mountain. Whether or not you care about its sacredness to the Indians, it is a very special place. The trail was covered in 5 feet of snow or more in some places, but the view alone was worth it. We also camped in the Badlands and stopped at the infamous Wall Drug. To cap it off we had dinner our last night at a chinese buffet and had one of the most hilarious conversations I can ever recall. Bad jokes insued.
6. My friend Hayley is back in Chicago and will me staying with me come friday. It fills me to no end with joy, because I've missed her so much. Yay!
7. I need to figure out what classes I'm taking fall semester. I've got my roommate,b and we need to figure out who's bringing what. Oh, college. Holy crap, I'm going to college!
8. Jeremy Brett. Sherlock Holmes. David Burke. Jeremy Brett.
9. My birthday is next week?! I'll be 18. I'll be legal. When did that happen?
10. Oh, lord, I need to get some writing done. And art. God, I need to figure out how to draw people. Now.
11. Toy Story. Made me cry. I'm not ashamed to admit it, because I freaking love that movie and I need desperately to see it again. My friends dragged me to see Eclipse (and I feel horribel even capitalizing the word) and it made me laugh.
12. Jeremy Brett

Oh, summer, I love you but I do not love you in Chicago, where you are unbearably hot and humid.
woostering: (Hatter)

Ah. Hello. Nice to see the old journal again. I've been sorta busy for a number of reasons. New... thingy.

First: I graduated! WOOOOHOOOOO I'm done with highschool!!!!! It's all... over. Heck, I even gave a speech, which I'm told was really good. All I know is that everyone, even people I wouldn't expect, were complimenting me on it, I made two teachers incredibly happy for mentioning things from their classes (integrals and Thomas Jefferson) and I made my band teacher cry. It wasn't a long speech, and I began and ended with Tolkien. I'm going to miss highschool and all the friends I've made, and ESPECIALLY band. God, I miss band already. But it was fun, and now we can look to college. I also have an epically long summer because it was a catholic highschool and I'm going to Knox, which starts Labor Day weekend. No school until september! Time to read and write and draw and... yeah.

Second: In the midst of that and for the week after my time was eaten up by the wake and funeral and stuff for my aunt. So that wasn't so good. But she had cancer that came back, and... it was bad. I got to see her actually not long before she died and it was better for it to be sooner rather than later, with all the pain she was in. A lot of people were really supportive, but I think seeing her was harder than the funeral. A deathbed is harrowing, and I really don't want to see that again. She's off somewhere else though, somewhere better, and I'll miss her. But she above all love having fun, and it's hard for be to be sad for too long about a life so fully lived.

Third: My scout trip to Yellowstone is coming up is a little over a week. Should be lots of fun... if a bit crowded at times. But I've known the other girls in my troop for a long time, and I know it will be epic. It'll be just about two weeks.

Fourth: ... Urgh. I'm supposed to be working on my Gold award. ideally it would have been done, like, a month ago, but I put it down in light of school craziness and stuff. Right now the target is to have it done by the 18th, because that's when we leave and then I could take it with me. But... god. When I think about it I get this empty pit in my stomach. I don't want to do it. I simply don't. I have no motivation. The noodle has been overcooked, it's almost mush. It's like... I can't help myself, like some sort of deep instinctual terror at actually getting down and doing this thing. Some part of my brain won't budge, and I can't seem to get anything done, and I don't want to and I don't care. I'm not sure I ever did. But I have at least one parent absolutely hounding me about it, and I don't know how to explain this mental block. I know, I do feel guilty that I'm practically running away from something I probably can accomplish, but the only reason I continue to feel that is because it keeps getting brought up. Otherwise I would move on and be happy. But no, it's something I need to do. I don't want the blasted thing. I never really did. Augh.

Hm. Gotta go to the doctor tomorrow to get a checkup for the trip. Not-so-fun. Got a new retainer that fits, but gives me a lisp. Also am reading Alberta as 'Al-BEAR-ta' instead of 'Al-BER-ta'. God, I'm turning british.
woostering: (kiku)
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If I had to? Undoubtedly my clarinet. Now, maybe I'm biased as I've been on a music kick lately, but I don't think it's something I could live without. There is something so incredible about being able to play that marrying the thing which allows me to make music that it's probably about as close to wedded bliss as one can get without, y'know, actually being married to a person.

Come to think of it, (and any fellow band geeks will understand) there are actually a lot of parallels between one's instrument and one's love. You take care of it. You fix it. You're protective of it. It can become an extension of your very being. You can get annoyed with it, and you'll proably forgive it. You can leave it and come back to it. It requires a little effort to be harmonius.

Then again, being a young and inexperienced person, maybe I'm wrong :D But... that's my answer.
woostering: (Cheshire teeth)
Why, hello thar.

I've actually been... busy, lately? Of course, being busy has rather ruined my motivation to do homework, but I can still scrape by so for now that's okay. Lets put this in two parts.

1. Kairos. As I (somewhat regrettably) go to a catholic highschool, we have retreats. Seniors have a choice between the one day or going on Kairos, which is three days. I'd heard good things about it, so I thought I'd go. Now, some people say it was life changing. While I wouldn't go that far, I did have a really good time and I got to talk to people that I normally never talk to (like, people in my homeroom... Wait, I'm TALKING to people?!). It was incredibly fun and it put my in a letter-writing mood. Well, I forgot that the day after I got back I had to go to a wedding, which sorta killed the 'kai-high', but I think it's back. Or something. For anyone who has the chance to go on Kairos I would reccommend it. As long as you go with an open mind the very least you will do is have a good time. You might cry, you will certainly laugh. And I have a little poster with Sneezy on it. And the cool cross-thingy. And some new music. (score!)

2. Musical. I'm actually playing in a musical. I must be crazy (if that doesn't show it making a copy of the first part forthe  William Tell Overture will). One thing Guerin is know for is the spring musical, in fact, its why I know about Guerin, because I know people who went there and were in them, so every year we went to see them.

This year we're doing the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. I'm getting an inordinat amount of enjoyment from it. Aside from the fact that the musical itself is pretty hilarious, and despite some other people dropping out of the pit. We were supposed to have a flute and oboe and sax, but in the end there just wasn't enough time. But it needs a clarinet, so here I am, playing music that is a little beyond my reach. But I got the parts that really need to be there. And there are some other cool people in the pit with me.
 And I get to wear a bow-tie. *squee*

So there was the gradeschool performance and preview for the school Thursday, one show last night, and two today. Speaking of which, I better get going because I have to be presentable in about two hours and I haven't even showered yet. Eh-heh...

I will be singing these songs forever.
"Life is panda-monium!"
woostering: (picasso)
Well. Back from Capricon. Spent monday sorting boxes an pulling out orders of cookies. Spent yesterday with a splitting headache. Didn't go to school today. Ergh. Also got some rather sad news after school yesterday about a friend's mom. I have decided that yesterday was dedicated to world suck.

So today is devoted to doing all the homework I didn't get done yesterday because I was either sleeping or thinking I would throw up. Not that anyone really needed to know that. I've got a crapload of stuff to do. I think.

Well, Capricon was fun, at least. And I don't think I actually have classes tomorrow. So I've just gotta actually do my work and things will be in a much better state. Nothing but to hunker down and get it done with.

'Tis best done quickly.

Aaand crap State of the Art is saturday. Performance time: 9:30 or something. Leave school by 7:15. Joy. And a game the night before.
woostering: (O RLY)
So I had I dream this morning that I was Bertie Wooster. I (he) was upset about something. I (he) was in the process of getting badly drunk when I woke up. O_o. I don't know. I really don't know. But I sorta want to write this now... All I know is that it was a really bad day for Bertie, possibly because one or both of his parents died, and that he went to the Drones before going out to drown his sorrows and there was something about Tuppy. What?

And I'm coming down with a cold. Which is giving me an excuse to drink copious amounts of tea. I like tea. However, it is also making me tired and worried about getting other people sick and stuff.

Stuff. I really don't want to do anything.

Finished Native Son and started Heart of Darkness for english. HoD is short, at least. And we don't have to take notes, which I find MUCH easier. I didn't like Native Son much. Something about the style prevented me from getting into it. I suppose it doesn't help that I skipped about half of book two XD.

Aside from school, I got a kindle for Christmas. I think what's really cool is that the old stuff that's not really copyrighted anymore can be downloaded for a buck. So far I have a set of two Jeeves books and the complete works of Oscar Wilde on there. Maybe I'll download the entire Sherlock Holmes collection next :D. And can I say I LOVE Wodehouse? Because I do. He makes me laugh. And I'm not an expressive reader, but reading about Bertie I find myself giggling. A lot. I suppose that, combined with reading through the indeed_sir archives, may have contributed to the dream this morning...

Anyway. Debating whether to do my psychology journal or watch some Kingdom. Found the wonderful show on youtube and I think I'm in love.
woostering: (snoopy)
Yeah. On break now, THANK GOD. I have...  something like 270 pages to read over break. But after Crime and Punishment, Native Son should be easy.

Only had two finals, both of which I passed, YAY! Things are better now. I'm no longer swamped with stuff. Starting tomorrow I will possibly start reading. I don't want to leave that to the last minute. I'm not one for making new years resolutions, but I think I resolve to keep on task for the rest of the school year.

There is snow on the ground, I got to put all our Disney ornaments on the tree, and got sucked into farmville on facebook. Oh! And the Christmas concert went well. we were a bit shaky with some things, but apparently we sounded good.

So. Over break, I plan to:
1. Read books one and two of Native Son, my only homework
2. Get some arts done. I open up photoshop yesterday and I was like 'ZOMG FAIL'. tablet skills are VERY dusty, but I need to do some pencil stuff too.
3. Get some writing done. I really need to work on this. I was avoiding it because of school, but now I can sit and relax and maybe make some progress SOMEwhere. Oh, my stories, how I have neglected you!
4. Hang out with people. Human contact is a good thing. I have, not just a day, but a sleepover already worked out, and at least two more things that will be at my house in the works. Yes. I need to see people.
5. Finish watching anf rewatch season two of House, which my friend kindly lent me. I also sorta put it down so I could get through the end of the semester, but now I can watch it again. Yay! I am loving this show.
6. Pick up the clarinet. Not that I really put it down or anything, it's just normally I leave it over break and then feel bed that I didn't practice. so that needs to be done.

Yeah, I think that sums it up. Happy holidays!

Oh... I have to see the orthodontist at some point, which means I've been wearing my retainer. Grrr. The problem is, my wisdom teeth have started to come in, so it doesn't fit properly BESIDES the fact that I havn't bee wearing it. Crap.
woostering: (picasso)
Haha, what? An update? I do no jest.

Yeah. Last week was unfun in that I was sick for most of it. Some nasty cold strain that started with a horrid sore throat. Anyway. I'm all better now. I think I caught up with everything, mostly. I'm still way behind on Crime and Punishment.

Saturday I want to the American Indian Powwow at the UIC pavillion. Fun. Except, I'm realizing that me and crowds don't get along so well. They make me really tired. Then Monday I had off (YAY) so I hung out with some band people. I should hang out more often. It is good for me... and yet I so rarely do it. But it's official: I can say I have something of a social life now. Not a big one- I don't want a big one. But I have one.

Also, I have a pretty awesome principal. He was cool enough to get up in front of us and lead us in doing a roller coaster. It was hilarious. Basically what you do is to have a group of people imitate being on a roller coaster. It's pretty epic, in a vaguly dorky way. But I give him lots of credit for even attempting it with us. And we actually did it. This is an impressive feat.

So this week I am trying to just sorta keep going, not drown in C&P and not forget all of calculus. Ugh.

I have to thank my friend an insane amount for lending me seasons one and two of a show called... House. OMG. LOVE. Love, love, love. I just started season two. I am asking for as many season as people will get me for Christmas. The writing (at least, as much as I've seen, which isn't a WHOLE lot, but hey) is incredibly good. And I really love all the characters. It's just... good. Good like good as a power opposite evil, at least in caliber and quality.
And yes, I know Hugh Laurie is british. I first became aware of him because of [livejournal.com profile] smokingguncafe and all of Sunny Disposih's references to Wodehouse. I proceeded to find many episodes of Jeeves and Wooster. More love.

On a side note, I finally broke down and bought a copy of Panic at the Disco's Pretty. Odd. Another bit of love there.
woostering: (picasso)
Concentration FAIL. But hey, we got an extension on our Hamlet passage anaylisis. So I think I'm not gonna work on it today.

At least I can mostly concentrate on getting college stuff done. I managed to get everything to my college counselor that she needs and ask my teachers to write reccomendations. First deadline for Knox is Sunday O_o. Holy crap. College.

This weekend was busy. Saturday was the last football game, so it was senior day. I am done with marching FOREVER. NO MORE. Funny thought.
Sunday was a 5k run/walk that I had to help with for NHS. Got to stand on a corner. And then my dad made me walk back to school XD. It was a pretty walk, though.

Then Saturday is ZOMG HALLOWEEN. I IS EXCITED. I don't know exactly what I'm wearing yet. But I know I'm going trick or treating. Free candy ftw, yes? I love Halloween. (ALSO: it a saturday, and the end of daylight saving time so we get an EXTRA HOUR HELL YESS)

So yeah. I'm getting sadly tired of Hamlet. I like it, and some of it's really funny now, but I do NOT want to do this passage anaylisis. I don't care about the specifics. I don't think Shakespeare overanalyzed his own plays, and I don't want to either. *grumbles* I can't concentrate AT ALL or focus or anything. And I have crap to do. Hello, senioritis, get the hell away from me, yeah?

Anyway. Other than that things seem to be going pretty well with school and all. I think the only thing that isn't helping me concentrate is me succumbing to being a girl and really liking this one guy who graduated last year. I'm sorta torn between going stalkerish on him and just leaving him alone. But I think he owns significant stock in my brain. God, I'm hopeless XD At least we still talk sometimes and stuff. But I miss him...

On a completely side note, I saw a trailer for the UK release of the Imginarium of Doctor Parnassus. It's not fair that they get it. I want to see it too.
And on another side note, [livejournal.com profile] smokingguncafe updated Sunny Disposish. Yay! It's like Hallowen treat, but early!


woostering: (Default)

May 2014



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