woostering: (snoopy)

College, I suspect, eats up time and space.

It's been, what, two months, two and a half, since I left Chicago for the little town Galesburg and Knox College.  It feels like no time at all. It feels like forever. Coming home was at once exciting and strange.  I was one of the very last people in my suite to leave, so I basically had a whole day to myself.  It was that day that made me think (when I didn't have a headache, but that isn't important).

I have always been very fortunate in respect to making friends.  In fact, I don't really make them.  I find them.  Or maybe they find me, I haven't quite figured out how to describe it.  But I have never had trouble falling in with a good group of people who, for some reason or other, manage to look past my usual silence and think I'm not half bad.  I couldn't even tell you how the group of friends I refer to as my suitemates for simplicity's sake (we do all live in the same building, and even on the same floor except for one) got together. It was too long ago and it happened very fast.  We came to college, and we became friends, and that was that.  About two thirds of the way through the term we realized that though we considered ourselves good friends we really didn't know all that much about one another, and we wondered what would happen over breaks.  Some were worried our friendships might not hold.  I admitted it was a possibility, but I never really entertained the idea.  Call it optimism or instinct, I felt and feel that we were and will continue to be good friends, despite that fact that, admitedly, we really don't know each other very well.

That's not at all where I intended that to go but whatever.  They're important.  And I like my suitemates.  I suppose the only other solid group of friends I have is the fencing team, who are also wonderful as I've said before. then there are people in my classes who are kind of my friends, but I don't talk to them enough outside of class to put them firmly in the 'Friend' category.  I hope that will change, because they're pretty cool too.  Anyway.  I think what I was getting to was that college is going well, and I'm doing well, and I'm not sure what to make of the fact that I'm getting into adult-y things.

Well. I'm home now. And until January.  Having trimesters is pretty sweet.  I've already had one get-together with some old friends, and one crazy midnight-on-Black-Friday-morning raid on Walmart with another friend. We didn't even buy anything. We just went because, well, why not? It was fun and very very cold and we got to bother the people camped outside Best Buy. I've spent the --dear god, nearly a week now-- well, most of the time enjoying a not slow youtube and adding lots of music to my laptop. You only realize how much music you don't have until you can't get to it.

That's enough for now, I think. I have to change my moodtheme. I'm making some changes to a Holmes one but I was getting frustrated with photobucket so I haven't gotten back to it yet XD.

Also:
IT'S SNOWING!!! ONLY FLURRIES BUT STILL. SNOW!

...and I have to take figure out what I'm doing for christmas presents. And what I'm saying for my gold award when I get it sunday. aaaahhh Why is there stuff to do?

Cheers!

Malparry

Oct. 29th, 2010 11:09 pm
woostering: (kiku)

I really do have the best of luck. Really. /sarcasm

So. In an attempt to branch out, and maybe be not completely out of shape, I decided to try something: fencing. Now, admitedly, I had two reasons to join fencing. One is that you get to stab people, which is always awesome, the second is that people I know who do it really like it (okay, so it is a the guy I like... but why should I let that stop me from doing cool things? Shush). This turned out to be a good thing because I actually really like it. I'm doing something that requires physical exertion wihch for me is pretty good for a change, and the other people on the team are awesome and for the most part nerdy as well. I have so much fun, and it actually makes me sad if I can't make a practice.

However, it also turned out to be a bad thing, because at practice four weeks ago, well... no one knows how, but I managed to dislocate my kneecap. Wtf. I mean, I have some idea of what happened. I was lunging, my ankle rolled and my upper leg was going straight down while my lower leg (this is my back leg, btw) was going sideways. I think to correct this my quad muscle spasmed (which is what the trainer said is often what causes the kneecap to be dislocted). What really confuses me is that I managed to fall on my right side (so the other side) facing the other direction. Which means mid-fall I managed to twist my body around completely. Anyway. I managed to probably scare and impress everyone, partly because despite the initial pain I wasn't crying (just swearing a ton, apparently. Mostly saying fuck). But thankfully we practice IN the athlectic building, so the trainer was right there. We got my leg straightened out and I limped home. I must say, everyone on the team was really nice to me and put up with my semi-delerious rambling and were practically jumping to help me stand up and hold my hand and stuff. This solidified my instinct that these people are made of awesome.

Now, I looked up some things about dislocated kneecaps. It is most common in teenagers (check), women (check), and people who are out of shape/overweight (also check), and you can also be genetically predisposed to it (again, check, thanks mom). So I shouldn't be surprised, really. Recovery is, on average, 6-8 weeks. It's not the sort of injury that can just get better. It takes a lot of time. The most annoying thing is stairs, because I have to take them one at a time, which is really slow and makes me feel obnoxious. I'm SO ready to walk up stairs normally and be able to run. Never have I thought I might say that. But you bend your knee doing and awful lot of things, and while you can certainly manage without, there's a lot you have to remember you CAN'T do. I'm almost at the point of being able to do stairs. My knee isn't quite strong enough yet. Ugh.

Despite this, I'm still going to fencing. I'm not actually fencing, of course (that right now is impossible, not to mention stupid), but I'm watching and learning and sometimes they make me judge. Judging is HARD. It requires as much if not more concentration as actually bouting. I just can't stop going, though. They're so fun :D And as one said, this freak injury will might make me the best judge EVER. Plus, now people can just call me Gimpy instead of Rebecca.

In other news, I went on a trip to the Art Institute in sweet home Chicago Tuesday. It was lots of fun even though I had to get up at seven in the morning and we got back around 11 at night. I think I may have actually walked through the entire second floor (which is where most of the famous paintings are).
In other other news, I made a pretty backgroud for Halloween for my laptop with Jeremy Brett when he played Dracula. I like real vampires.


Oh, college XD
woostering: (Warehouse 13: Evil Disco Ball)

Well. Well well well. College. Uni, to those in the British Isles. I like Knox so far. Granted, I've only had a full week of classes. I haven't even had a proper paper to write yet. But I like it here.

Move-in was September 4th. Moved in (obviously), met my roommate and suite mates and floor mates. See, only one building at Knox has traditional dorm-style dorms, and that's all guys anyway. Pretty much everything else (except the houses and the few apartments) are suite-style. So we have five doubles and one single room, and a common room. We get to the other suite by going through a door in the bathroom (yeah I know. bit weird. but it works). But things are working our really well in terms of housing and living. Food is decent. The cereal and dessert stuff, however, is AWESOME.

Anyway, us freshman had a week of orientation, ending in Pumphandle on Friday when most of the upperclassmen had moved in as well. Basically you shake hands with everybody. Everybody. All the teachers and faculty people, and all the students who can make it. Orientation was for the most part pretty fun. 

It feels like I've been here a lot longer. But I'm managing to make friends. I should know by now that I really don't need to worry about friends because I always seem to miraculously fall into a good group.

We already have a wall of quotes stuck onto a wall of the common room. And now, I shall tell a story about how college is indeed college, and people in college are, well... as crazy as tehy say. There was a blacklight party going on in one of the buildings. We (my group of friends, being my room, the room across from ours, and some people from through the bathroom) were just sort of sitting in our common room, finishing a game of Apples to Apples. Suddenly, we hear lots of noise, and three guys (one shirtless XD ) charge through our bathroom and wander around shouting. They say hello and generally act crazy. One finished the cold tea in my mug. They started reading all the quotes on our wall, very loudly, some more than once. One of guys scribbled herpes on a bunch of them. So basically they were getting up to some shennanigins and causing us to laugh as loud as they were yelling, and telling us to have a good time (oh, and that we should remind the other suite to lock their door), when two guys from campus security came in because some people had called about them. So they left and we headed to see the blacklight party.

College is some crazy shit, man. But I love it. Now for academics (no, I'm not about to tell every detail of my social life. No one wants to  hear it and I don't tell it well anyway). I'm taking drawing and German this semester, as well as FP (freshman preceptorial), which is required. FP is basically a critical thinking/discussion/writing course. We have to read a lot, current in my class Dignity of Difference by Sacks. I don't like it. It's very dry, and not in they dry humor sense but dry in the redundant and boring sense. But hopefully we won't be reading it for too long. German is fun, though currently a bit daunting as it's an immersion class. But I'm getting the hang of it. And draing is very fun. We're workign with charcoal, a new experience for me and one I'm finding to my liking, once I accept that things are big and bold with it, opposite my usual pencil mode. The only drawback is I leave that two-period class feeling like a chimney sweep. I'm covered in black XD

So. College. Fun. I hope people all over are enjoying life right now. Because you know what? Life is awesome sometimes.
Laugh the night away.
woostering: (Hatter O_O)

So. My emotions have been running rather haywire lately. A few days ago I went to a friend's house, to FINALLY drop off some thin mints he'd ordered MONTHS ago. Well, anyway. I finally got the nerve to say, 'hey, I have cookies for you. When can I drop them off. Sometime this week, preferably.' And it did require getting up some nerve, because I've liked the poor guy for, oh, nearly two years now. Being me, the withdrawn, socially awkward self, I never knew how to approach this and never said a word. After all, he's one of those insanely awesome people who everybody loves, and we were kinda friends, so I wasn't about to point out I liked him. And, when I realized I did, he had a girlfriend.

Anyway, now we cut to this summer. I had spent many nights of my senior year thinking about him and sorting out my feelings and berating myself for not knowing what to do. Or something like that. But thinking. My friend Hayley was here for a while. At the beginning of summer I had gone to Yellowstone. I found my glass pen and wanted to figure out how to use it. I got the brilliant idea to write a letter. Because, you see, after all this thinking I realized (rather early on, actually) that I valued his friendship immensely, and I wanted that as much as anything else. But, seeing as college was fast approaching, I figured I could tell him I liked him. I had hardly talked to him over senior year, as he's a year older than me and he was busy with college (pre-med, dontcha know. /bragging). I thought, I'd give him the cookies, leave some letter in there and then I could leave that behind and look to college. If he wanted to talk to me he could. If he wanted to ignore me he could do that too, because, hello, college. If that's not a distraction then I don't know what is.

After some more thinking (i'm cutting out all the thinking. I can't remember what i though when anyway), I wrote out the letter. Damn thing was a full two pages long. I told him I liked him, but also that I really wanted to be friends. After all, with college, being anything more than friends is tempting fate and kind of silly. Okay, I didn't SAY that, but it was hopefully implied. But... I'm beginning to think I may not have implied it well enough. I'm freaking out right now that I completely screwed this up.

I was just going to drop off the cookies, fairly quick, nothing special. I was there for, like, an hour. We had tea. Good tea. I found out figured out how interested he is in astrology. His mom came in at some point and we all talked for a while, all nice and perfect. Once I relaxed a bit, I realized I was possibly the most comfortable there in a house I'd never been in before I'd ever been around other people. I wasn't worried about saying something stupid like I normally am around him. No, I wasn't providing scintillating conversation, but I was talking. And I left that damned letter.

I've realized that I don't care how much I like him. I don't care whether or not he likes me. I want to be friends with him. I could care less whether he likes me as more than a friend. We think in similar ways. What more could I ask for? I then realized that maybe I just wanted someone who I knew would understand me, someone I could call up and just talk to for a bit. And I think I might have scared him off. Or something. I don't know. I haven't talked to him since. But he gave me a hug when I got there, and he gave me one as I left, and it was the most comforting thing in the world. I just want a hug, dammit XD. Oh. I just want to be able to keep getting hugs from him, y'know? Alright, I shouldn't say 'y'know', but... Ah. Nevermind.

I fear I might have been a bit... not forceful, but overdramatic in that stupid letter. Not calm and, oh-by-the-way-I-like-you-can't-help-it-you're-fucking-amazing, but more -oh-I'm-pining-for-you-and-will-always-be. She-ite. And I thought about taking the letter out, too. But I thought to myself, no, I'm gonna leave it in. I bothered to write it out, and all fancy, and dammit I'm gonna tell him. I won't have to see him again. I'll be fine.

Oh, no, I'm not fine, Rebecca you genius. You fool. You think too much and worry too much and YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF HE READ IT WHY ARE YOU FREAKING OUT. Ahahahaha god. I have no social skills. I am HOPELESS LOL. I'm swearing an awful lot in my head. I may have ruined a perfect friendship. I may have done nothing. I just may have screwed up a really awesome friendship because I selfishly needed to expose feelings no longer relevant. I NEED T GET A GRIP, yeah? Yeah.


Oh, college in... three days? Leaving friday because move-in is saturday and Galesburg is too far to drive to that morning. I have until we leave friday evening to finish my gold project. Gorram. Or something. Trolling Tumblr for Jeremy Brett instead of sleeping. Because I feel alright then. I cannot express how much I'm in love with this man. Well, how much I love looking at him and listening to him and watching what he's done, because he's done it beautifully.



AHAHA and what happens after i post this? He asks for my college adress so he can write back :D Oh, why do I worry about these things? Silly Rebecca is silly.
woostering: (phoenix)
It occurs to me that I haven't posted anything for a while. It also occurs to me that I don't really do anything with my lj (other than stalk people, I mean) and that I don't really know why I feel the need to keep up a journal. Meh.

I'm getting ready to go to college. Buying decent clothes and things like an electric kettle so i can have TEA. Yup. Oh, and a laptop. But I've had it a while now. I'm mostly intrigued by college and the whole new experience stuff that goes with it. The rest of my feelings about it involved trepidation and nervousness, as I am shy and worry about how well I'll open up to people, and wondering what my roommate will be like. As I'm an only child, living permanently with another person will be new. I'm told I get along with other people well, and I must admit in highschool I fell into a group of friends fairly fast despite my utter lack of social skills.

My summer has been rather... haphazard? First there was the trip with my scout troop to Yellowstone, and then there was a period of quiet, and then my best friend Hayley came in from Nevada. She stayed with us for about a week, and she hopes to be back in what will be only a few days now. Of course, the first night she stayed at my house we got a horrid storm and the basement flooded (only a little, but a box of plaster ceramic molds got wet and they spent three days on the kitchen table drying). But I hope she can spend some more time here, because I love her to death. And, like I said, in this interim I've been slowly aquireing stuff for college. I have seen some people, actually, over the summer, which is not as common an occurence as it should be.

I have also completely screwed my sleeping schedule, which involves me staying up well into the morning. Urgh. I really don't need to be up so late/early. I mean, it's already 12:30. Damn you, internet, for existing. A side effect of this is that I have been thinking a lot (and burning my brain instead of catching up on reading all the books I want to read before school. I have until Labor Day weekend). Yet... right now I don't really know if anything I have to say is really worth putting down here. A second possible side effect is the fact that I've been having some really strange dreams. Like messed-up weird kind of strange. Unfortunately I've had so many I don't really remember any. But suffice it to say they were... I don't even know.

Heading up to the Ren Faire again sunday. Was shopping for aforementioned college stuff, stopped at Borders and, among other things, picked up the movie soundtrack for My Fair Lady. Which I love, even though Jeremy Brett's voice was dubbed. Anyway. I love the songs, no matter who sang them. Have been possibly and then not really been falling into further Holmes and Watson depravity, as well as having rediscovered King of Shadows Queen of Light, a fanfic for Neverwinter Nights 2. I do love that particular one, though that's really the only fanfic for that game I read. Re-finding the story also propmted me to play the game again, starting from scratch (again. Really, I need to cure my addiction of restarting games before I finish). Lesse. Alright, I've done some things. Went to seem the variety show for the RESCU foundation, which basically provides help to people like those who work at the Ren Faire and, being basically self-employed, have no insurance. The show was wonderful and hilarious and Hayley and I FREAKING LOVED IT. that is all. Fun times.

You know what? I need something to talk about. Other than my uninteresting life. Cheers.

No, here, have some love.
woostering: (richardpuppet)
Lesse. Concert went well, yesyes. And we're playing Korean Variations for graduation. Of course, now I have to figure out how to play the first part for Bacchus, which is the recessional. *does not like playing by herself*

Visited illinois Weslyean yesterday. Nice place, I liked it. Dunno if I like it more than Knox or not. The two have some similarities, but very different feels. Of course, part of that was probably that Weslyean is in their May Term so a lot of people were doing off campus stuff. But the best way I can describe it is that Knox has a more adventurous, energetic feel whereas Weslyean has more of a home-y feel to it. Not to say it's any less exciting, but it feels liek the place wants to give you a hug while Knox is more grabbing your hand and running (in a friendly sort of way). KNox has a specifically creative writing major, while Weslyean just has english with a focus on writing. I like both places, though.
The though of college is exciting and sorta scary at the same time. I mean, highschool will be over, which is both a good and bad thing. None of my friends are looking at the colleges I am, which is good and bad. So, like my preferance for Knox vs Weslyean, it could swing either way.

But enough of that. Today some of my mom's friends that I know really well are coming over to watch some movies, so I'll be doing that with them. Will be fun.


Massive edit/additions with... the Mad Hatter! )

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