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Because I wasn't listening. I have been very lazy and not been paying much attention or thinking properly lately. My focus seems to have largely vanished for nearly a week now. Like, right now, I'm supposed to be working on designing a dorm room for my learning by design class. (It's sorta like engineering, I guess).
My lack of an attention span has been annoying. I think it's slightly better now, but it doesn't change my annoyance at having lost it for so long. Eugh.
I think part of it is that I haven't been sleeping the best lately. I've had some really weird dreams, for me. Like my grandmother was in one. Or dreams where I'm tired and exasperated IN THE DREAM. This should be a signal to my brain that I am tired and need restful sleep... but no. Last night was better. I still had a dream, but I don't remember what it was at all, I just know it was a bit more normal.
I highly suspect something was in the house.
My house has a design quirk in that there really aren't hallways (which are supposed to attract stuff). There's sorta one entering the house from the front door, and one that consists really of two squares of space that connects the living room, the bathroom and my room, the kitchen, and the door to the basement. There's sort of on upstairs. But this half hallway is pretty much the center of the house , and it's one of those places where you often catch a sense of movement out of the corner of your eye. Sometimes whe I'm in my room I feel like something is watching me from that spot. Whatever it is, it's not a bad presence, but it's not real good either. I dunno. But over the last week I'm noticed that movement a LOT more.
My mom has also mentioned to me that she's had some really weird dreams too. So it's not just me.
Anyway. On top of that, or maybe because of of it, I've been thinking of other things too and been feeling very introspective and stuff. Like why I create so many internal issues for myself and why I have to be so shy all the time.
Yeah. Having no energy and them feeling melancholy on top of it? Not fun.
That being said, I think I'm on the upswing now. it just wasn't very pleasant and it made school, well... rather hard. Eh. I do not like work. I do NOT like calculus. I hate calculus. It does not compute. That is all.
My lack of an attention span has been annoying. I think it's slightly better now, but it doesn't change my annoyance at having lost it for so long. Eugh.
I think part of it is that I haven't been sleeping the best lately. I've had some really weird dreams, for me. Like my grandmother was in one. Or dreams where I'm tired and exasperated IN THE DREAM. This should be a signal to my brain that I am tired and need restful sleep... but no. Last night was better. I still had a dream, but I don't remember what it was at all, I just know it was a bit more normal.
I highly suspect something was in the house.
My house has a design quirk in that there really aren't hallways (which are supposed to attract stuff). There's sorta one entering the house from the front door, and one that consists really of two squares of space that connects the living room, the bathroom and my room, the kitchen, and the door to the basement. There's sort of on upstairs. But this half hallway is pretty much the center of the house , and it's one of those places where you often catch a sense of movement out of the corner of your eye. Sometimes whe I'm in my room I feel like something is watching me from that spot. Whatever it is, it's not a bad presence, but it's not real good either. I dunno. But over the last week I'm noticed that movement a LOT more.
My mom has also mentioned to me that she's had some really weird dreams too. So it's not just me.
Anyway. On top of that, or maybe because of of it, I've been thinking of other things too and been feeling very introspective and stuff. Like why I create so many internal issues for myself and why I have to be so shy all the time.
Yeah. Having no energy and them feeling melancholy on top of it? Not fun.
That being said, I think I'm on the upswing now. it just wasn't very pleasant and it made school, well... rather hard. Eh. I do not like work. I do NOT like calculus. I hate calculus. It does not compute. That is all.
